This originated from my Aunt Jane’s cheese log recipe. I’ve added my modifications for the “Cheese Wreath” here, though you can find her original recipe below. I’ve made this for holiday potlucks because it’s fun and one of the prettier things I can successfully make, presentation-wise. My stepmom took one look and said, “Oh, how ’70s!” And sure, maybe it is — but not all dishes from the 70s need to disappear forever. Keep in mind, however, that a certain percentage of people at a potluck either won’t know what it’s supposed to be or don’t want to mess it up by eating it, or run screaming at the sight of parsley. Whatever, it’s still tasty.

If you’re planning to have a smaller crowd, you might try making a smaller version of this with just one or two packages of cream cheese instead of three. If you have leftovers, they’ll keep for a few days, though the parsley ages faster than the rest of the ingredients. It might also be fun to try a version of this for other festive occasions and swap out the red bell pepper with something of another color.

3 8-ounce packages of cream cheese
1 bunch green onion
2 stalks of celery
1 clove elephant garlic (or 2-3 cloves regular garlic)
2 tsps Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp smoked paprika
chopped parsley (at least half a bunch)
red bell pepper (try to find one with little to no disfigurations if possible)

Bring up the cream cheese to room temperature so it’s easier to work with. Meanwhile, chop the green onions, celery, and garlic as finely as possible. You can use a mandoline to get the garlic very thinly sliced before dicing; just be careful of your fingers.

Mix all the ingredients except for the parsley and bell pepper. You may need to get your (clean) hands in there to mix thoroughly.

Spoon four globs of the mixture into compass directions onto wax paper (i.e., North, South, East, West). Be sure to check that you’re not making your shapes too big to fit onto the serving plate you plan to use. Spoon the rest of the mixture in between the first four globs and smooth it out into a ring.

Slice the red bell pepper from top to bottom to create ribbons without the lumps you would get if you slice horizontally. It helps if you can include as much of the “curl” of the pepper slices so it will stick around the cheese and not just lay on top. Save some pepper to cut a bow; you can use a clean craft knife if your kitchen knives are too big to cut holes in the loops. Arrange the pieces onto the wreath to look like a ribbon wrapping around it.

Chop the parsley. Take handfuls and sprinkle them onto the parts of the wreath not covered by bell pepper. Aim for as even a coverage as possible and use your fingers to pat it in on the sides. Cut out the wax paper from the interior of the wreath and move it onto a decorative plate. Cut the paper away from the exterior, being careful not to cut into the plate. After a point, ripping may be more effective.

Refrigerate until it’s time to serve.

Original Cheese Log (Aunt Jane’s Recipe):

1 large & 1 small packages of cream cheese
1/2 cup chopped celery
2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
2 tablespoons chopped onion (pressed)
chopped parsley
chopped nuts

Mix all ingredients except the parsley and nuts, and shape into a log. Roll the log in the parsley and nuts.